2016 taught me that I'm; powerless, incapable, unqualified and unable.
2016 - What a year! It has had more challenges than I ever anticipated. Through most of it I've felt like a helpless spectator to the things going on, as if I'm watching my life play out around me with no real control of what is happening.
2016 - My husband, who works endlessly without complaining to provide for our family, has had his integrity and character questioned while also navigating some extremely difficult work situations. He not only has myself and our three very-young-very-impressionable children looking up to him for direction and guidance, but he also runs an organization with hundreds of people who have high expectations. I watch him. I worry about him. I support him. I encourage him. But, I am powerless to actually help him.
2016 - My 7 year old, who has a heart of gold and tirelessly tries to please those around her, has had to learn the pain that comes from when close friends hurt you and when you need to say "goodbye" to people you dearly love. She is lonely and afraid, angry and devastated. I ache for her. I carry the burden with her. I comfort her. I nurture her. Still, I am incapable of taking it all away from her.
2016 - My 5 year old, who is spunky and sarcastic and beautiful and sweet, has faced entering school as a kindergartner "different" than most of her peers, due to severe environmental allergies and life threatening food allergies, which has caused her to experience Frequent Urination Anxiety. She is fearful and uncomfortable, terrified and heartbroken. I'm concerned for her. I agonize over her. I love on her. I uplift her. Yet, I am unqualified to make it all disappear.
2016 - My 2 year old, who is entirely irresistible and can capture the hearts of everyone in the room with simply his smile, has been directly affected by all the caseworkers/layers/judge assigned to his case as a foster child. While he may not understand why these people come in and out of our home, he certainly knows that it has something to do with him. He hides behind my legs refusing to let new faces see him. He cuddles deep into my arms not allowing new hands to touch him. He is timid and shy, delicate and frightened. I'm anxious about his future. I try to protect him. I give him undivided attention. I show him affection. Even still, I am unable to change the reality of his past.
2016 - It left me personally feeling powerless, incapable, unqualified and unable - but, it also pointed me straight into the arms of Jesus. As I have sat on the sidelines watching my family walk through their own set of challenges - I have not been sitting idly. I have been praying! Each time I pray for my family I think of God as being the mediator. Always in the middle of us. He is the center of the line. Never moving. Never changing. Always listening. Always answering.
I may be powerless to help Dave, but God is powerful enough to do anything.
I may be incapable of removing Bella's heartache, still God is capable of doing everything.
I may be unqualified to make Abbi's anxiety disappear, yet God is over qualified.
I may not be able to turn the ashes of Aidan's past into something beautiful. Even still, God is able. More than able.
2016 - The year where God revealed Himself as faithful and good despite some difficult circumstances. Grace for the moment. He gives us grace to get through each and every moment.
2016 - My husband, who works endlessly without complaining to provide for our family, has had his integrity and character questioned while also navigating some extremely difficult work situations. He not only has myself and our three very-young-very-impressionable children looking up to him for direction and guidance, but he also runs an organization with hundreds of people who have high expectations. I watch him. I worry about him. I support him. I encourage him. But, I am powerless to actually help him.
2016 - My 7 year old, who has a heart of gold and tirelessly tries to please those around her, has had to learn the pain that comes from when close friends hurt you and when you need to say "goodbye" to people you dearly love. She is lonely and afraid, angry and devastated. I ache for her. I carry the burden with her. I comfort her. I nurture her. Still, I am incapable of taking it all away from her.
2016 - My 5 year old, who is spunky and sarcastic and beautiful and sweet, has faced entering school as a kindergartner "different" than most of her peers, due to severe environmental allergies and life threatening food allergies, which has caused her to experience Frequent Urination Anxiety. She is fearful and uncomfortable, terrified and heartbroken. I'm concerned for her. I agonize over her. I love on her. I uplift her. Yet, I am unqualified to make it all disappear.
2016 - My 2 year old, who is entirely irresistible and can capture the hearts of everyone in the room with simply his smile, has been directly affected by all the caseworkers/layers/judge assigned to his case as a foster child. While he may not understand why these people come in and out of our home, he certainly knows that it has something to do with him. He hides behind my legs refusing to let new faces see him. He cuddles deep into my arms not allowing new hands to touch him. He is timid and shy, delicate and frightened. I'm anxious about his future. I try to protect him. I give him undivided attention. I show him affection. Even still, I am unable to change the reality of his past.
2016 - It left me personally feeling powerless, incapable, unqualified and unable - but, it also pointed me straight into the arms of Jesus. As I have sat on the sidelines watching my family walk through their own set of challenges - I have not been sitting idly. I have been praying! Each time I pray for my family I think of God as being the mediator. Always in the middle of us. He is the center of the line. Never moving. Never changing. Always listening. Always answering.
The Pray-er__________God__________The Prayed For
I may be powerless to help Dave, but God is powerful enough to do anything.
But Jesus looked at them and said,
"with man this is impossible,
but with God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26
I may be incapable of removing Bella's heartache, still God is capable of doing everything.
Be strong and courageous.
do not be afraid or terrified...
for the Lord your God goes with you.
Deuteronomy 31:6
The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you;
He will never leave you nor forsake you...
Deuteronomy 31:8a
I may not be able to turn the ashes of Aidan's past into something beautiful. Even still, God is able. More than able.
To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
Isabiah 61:3
2016 - The year where God revealed Himself as faithful and good despite some difficult circumstances. Grace for the moment. He gives us grace to get through each and every moment.
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